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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2012/07/14

Character evaluation

Hi. I found out something which I didn''t like, and sent my boyfriend an sms asking what it''s all about. Later we had an argument about it.

My mother warned me that I should not confront him about things in an sms, because she feels he will use it to sue me when things go wrong between us.

She feels this way because he has told us that about 5 years ago, before we even met, he was falsely accused at his workplace for stealing.
He got a lawyer, who proved that he was not responsible for the stock that went missing.
At his current job, his coworker was caught defrauding the company, and as they were only two people in the shop, the owner wanted to accuse him of being part of it all. As they audited the shop they found out that everything happened before he started to work there. But during the time when the owner thought my boyfriend was part of it all, my boyfriend said that he will get a lawyer if they want to fire him for something he didn''t do.

My question is: Is my mother right, or is she over-reacting?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I have no idea whether or not your mother is over-reacting to this particular situation, but she is probably right in warning you to be cautious. Accusations should be very carefully used, if at all, and if put in any form of writing, can indeed be used against you if legal proceedings pass. It sounds odd that your bf has apparently at least twice been wrongly accused of dodgy practices at places he worked : either suspicious or exceedingly unlucky. But it would perhaps make him extra sensitive to being wrongly acused of anything else.
But for Pete's sake, people, if you have any significant concern or bother you want to tackle your friend with, why not have the good manners to do it face to face, rather than by messaging ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/15

I have no idea whether or not your mother is over-reacting to this particular situation, but she is probably right in warning you to be cautious. Accusations should be very carefully used, if at all, and if put in any form of writing, can indeed be used against you if legal proceedings pass. It sounds odd that your bf has apparently at least twice been wrongly accused of dodgy practices at places he worked : either suspicious or exceedingly unlucky. But it would perhaps make him extra sensitive to being wrongly acused of anything else.
But for Pete's sake, people, if you have any significant concern or bother you want to tackle your friend with, why not have the good manners to do it face to face, rather than by messaging ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2012/07/14

What exactly does she think he will sue you for? And why would you want to be with a guy who you think might sue you because of something you sms''d him?

I think that modern technology has made cowards out of people. It''s so much easier to fire of an email or sms than to discuss an issue with someone face to face in a calm, rational and mature manner. How would you feel if you got an sms like that?

Reply to Maria

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