advertisement
Question
Posted by: Tired Individual | 2011/02/28

Change of it all

I have been married for 6 years and know that I have fallen out of love with my husband since 2007. we have kids we make good parents but not a couple. I have toyed with a few possible scenarios but husband is not open minded enough to can comprehend these. Like geeting a divorce and continue living together was one of those. He tries to make the mariage work but for the past years his solution is lets make it work, lets be happy this is not the solution ot our problems .The bottom line is he is a pperfect father but not lover he does not excite me. Please help.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I tend to wonder what "falling out of love" means, and what the original love was. I find in practice that often this is one way of expressing marital disharmony and conflict, which can actually be dealt with by marriage counselling ( its hard to "love" someone you're arguing with ). And although such counselling obviously can't always solve all the problems, at least you know you have tried, and even if the decision is then to separate, both of you know more about what went wrong, and are better able to avoid repeating such problems in future, and to part amicably rather than unpleasantly.
If he's fine from every other point of view, but it is entirely on a sexual basis that you have fallen out of lust, as it were, rather than out of love, then personal counselling for you might help you to better understand whatever accounts for this, and again, may either suggest solutions or at least a better informed plan for the future

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: SNicker | 2011/03/01

The question to me about this seems to be, if you have fallen in love with any living being, then fallen out of love with any living being, is it possible to fall back in love again? From what I know it is possible but difficult. You cant do it for children or anyone else, for the sake of other peoples security. How do you rekindle passion and love? If love dies, how do you bring it back? Let me give you a comparison, if a seed falls into the ground it must first die to give life and growth.

As long as the loss of your love has not been replaced by the opposite extreme emotion - hatred, then there''s always hope.

Reply to SNicker
Posted by: Follower | 2011/02/28

Andre , this is not the same - your wife is having an affair and smsing and facebooking other men! And tired individual is trying to find a solution and communicating with her husband. Each mariage is different there is no quick fix unless both partners are communicating without other people involved.
She never said it cannot be fixed, do not overload this lady with your problems.
Tired Individual Cybershrinks advice is spot on - l wish you luck.

Reply to Follower
Posted by: Andre | 2011/02/28

Sorry, this is maybe not help for you but a question you might answer for me.
I sit in the same situation, my wife has " fallen out of love"  with me too. You say it can not be fixed... what should he have done?
What can I do?

Reply to Andre
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/28

I tend to wonder what "falling out of love" means, and what the original love was. I find in practice that often this is one way of expressing marital disharmony and conflict, which can actually be dealt with by marriage counselling ( its hard to "love" someone you're arguing with ). And although such counselling obviously can't always solve all the problems, at least you know you have tried, and even if the decision is then to separate, both of you know more about what went wrong, and are better able to avoid repeating such problems in future, and to part amicably rather than unpleasantly.
If he's fine from every other point of view, but it is entirely on a sexual basis that you have fallen out of lust, as it were, rather than out of love, then personal counselling for you might help you to better understand whatever accounts for this, and again, may either suggest solutions or at least a better informed plan for the future

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement