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Question
Posted by: Lee | 2009-01-22

Chameleon Men

My husband changes personalities when he is in different environements. when he is with me he is a certain way, with his family another way. Even at work he is different.
He says I dont let him be himself. When he is with his friends he can be himself

This even applies to what he says to whom

Is there different converstation types...
ie ..your wife addresses issues differently to your friends... maybe your friends dont give opinions they just listen ..but your wife may get emotional involved what she says....

Why is it that he can talk easier to his friends than with me...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Actually, I think our experience, and much research, suggests that w are ALL chameleons --- you behave and talk differently with your parents, your children, your boss, and your pets. Its a mixture of knowing them in a different context, having a different role yourself vis a vis them, a different manner of speaking, even different vocabulary. Kids use slang with their friends they know mom and pop would never understand.
And as owai sys, there are also difering expectations of us, from the others.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Often wondered about it | 2009-01-22

Hi, I have seen the same thing with my hubby and although it bothered me at the beginning (and we spoke about it) I came to see that I also change when I am with different people! We don' t always see this in ourselves, but are you the same person when with your parents and having a few drinks with your friends? I have also warned him about this. He made friends with a guy at work (a bit uhm, strange sort of common) and when he was with this guy, I could not stand him! I will definitely discuss problems with my friends and will put up a front at work for my boss. We all in a certain way act according to what is expected from us.

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