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Question
Posted by: jojo | 2009/02/16

cellphone pornography

Mycousin both receives and sends pornographic pictures to any guy that she hooks up with on mxit. Recently she was caught sending an explicit photo of herself to a boy of 12 and lost her waitressing job as a result. My cousin is 16 and has been sexually active since she was 13. She gets drunk and sleeps with guys she doesn' t even know. When I ask her about the porno she denies it even though i have seen it many times myself when she leaves her phone lying around. Her mother keeps buying her airtime even though she knows her daughter is doing this. I feel so worried for my cousin as we have grown up together and if she carries on like this, she can only end up flunking school and being a loser - a lot of guys I know have all seen photos of her private parts and laugh about it and want to know from me what is wrong with her. My mom thinks she was sexually molested as a child but her mother is in total denial that she has a problem at all, which is very frustrating for us who want to try and help her. She can be so sweet and kind to me but she has such an ugly side to her when she doesn' t get her own way - she swears terrribly, threatens to commit suicide and basically manipulates her mother to get her own way. What can I do to help?She has also started bunking school and has guys coming around during the day to " visit"  according to their landlady.

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Our expert says:
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If she was sending porno pictures to a boy of 12, she should have been arrested, not merely sacked ( if this is what a waitress busies herself with, no wonder service is slow ! She's 16, sexually active since 13, and apparently promiscuous. Its remarkable if she isn't already HIV positive. What sort of mother allows and encourages this in a kid of 16 ? And if she is earning money waitressing, why is Mom buying her airtime anyway ? If she was sexually molested as a child, that's unfortunate, and she should be encouraged to see a psychologist to work through that. And if her mother ignores all this, its hardly surprising she was molested and mom didn't notice. Maybe your mom should have a serious talk with her mom ( ? her sister ) and make it clear that it seems that everyone around has noticed her daughter becoming a slut and that the mother is doing nothing about it, and encourage the woman to wake up and try being a mom for a change. And if she can't be bothered, maybe child welfare should be informed to check up on this, before the girl is too old for any agency to be interested

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Our users say:
Posted by: wtf | 2009/02/17

Tippy
You sound like you need help yourself, poor thing.

Reply to wtf
Posted by: sensiblemom | 2009/02/17

Very disturbing to read your opinion on cellphone pornography - can only assume you are doing exactly what Jojos cousin is doing - you sound incredibly uneducated - I sincerely hope you are not a mother, especially of a daughter, and that you never will be a mother. How you can think it is Ok for a 16 year old girl to be sending explicit photos of herself to anybody, let alone complete strangers met via mxit, is totally and utterly beyond my comprehension.

Reply to sensiblemom
Posted by: Shaz | 2009/02/16

Tippy,

I think you should re-read your post, let it digest and then try and comphehend what you just sai. I mean WTF? we are talking of a 16yr old bunking sch, inviting boys to " visit"  and sleeping around, sending explicit pics of herself etc and you think this is OK. What the hell is wrong with you? I really hope for some child' s sake that you are NOT a parent, I mean really?

As for Jojo,
Your cousin is really fortunate to have such a caring extended family, I really hope that you can find some common ground here and be able to talk some sense into her, it' s heartbreaking to read of young lives being destroyed like this, her mom on the other hand needs a serious reality check. I thnk the woman needs schooling herself. Obviously there is a serious underlying problem somewhere and she is refusing to address it. SOmething is definately not kosher here.

I wish you all the best with your Cousin, please don' t give up on her, esp now.

Reply to Shaz
Posted by: Shaz | 2009/02/16

Tippy,

I think you should re-read your post, let it digest and then try and comphehend what you just sai. I mean WTF? we are talking of a 16yr old bunking sch, inviting boys to " visit"  and sleeping around, sending explicit pics of herself etc and you think this is OK. What the hell is wrong with you? I really hope for some child' s sake that you are NOT a parent, I mean really?

As for Jojo,
Your cousin is really fortunate to have such a caring extended family, I really hope that you can find some common ground here and be able to talk some sense into her, it' s heartbreaking to read of young lives being destroyed like this, her mom on the other hand needs a serious reality check. I thnk the woman needs schooling herself. Obviously there is a serious underlying problem somewhere and she is refusing to address it. SOmething is definately not kosher here.

I wish you all the best with your Cousin, please don' t give up on her, esp now.

Reply to Shaz
Posted by: Shaz | 2009/02/16

Tippy,

I think you should re-read your post, let it digest and then try and comphehend what you just sai. I mean WTF? we are talking of a 16yr old bunking sch, inviting boys to " visit"  and sleeping around, sending explicit pics of herself etc and you think this is OK. What the hell is wrong with you? I really hope for some child' s sake that you are NOT a parent, I mean really?

As for Jojo,
Your cousin is really fortunate to have such a caring extended family, I really hope that you can find some common ground here and be able to talk some sense into her, it' s heartbreaking to read of young lives being destroyed like this, her mom on the other hand needs a serious reality check. I thnk the woman needs schooling herself. Obviously there is a serious underlying problem somewhere and she is refusing to address it. SOmething is definately not kosher here.

I wish you all the best with your Cousin, please don' t give up on her, esp now.

Reply to Shaz
Posted by: Shaz | 2009/02/16

Tippy,

I think you should re-read your post, let it digest and then try and comphehend what you just sai. I mean WTF? we are talking of a 16yr old bunking sch, inviting boys to " visit"  and sleeping around, sending explicit pics of herself etc and you think this is OK. What the hell is wrong with you? I really hope for some child' s sake that you are NOT a parent, I mean really?

As for Jojo,
Your cousin is really fortunate to have such a caring extended family, I really hope that you can find some common ground here and be able to talk some sense into her, it' s heartbreaking to read of young lives being destroyed like this, her mom on the other hand needs a serious reality check. I thnk the woman needs schooling herself. Obviously there is a serious underlying problem somewhere and she is refusing to address it. SOmething is definately not kosher here.

I wish you all the best with your Cousin, please don' t give up on her, esp now.

Reply to Shaz
Posted by: tippy | 2009/02/16

i think that it is not wright or wrong, but as long as it does not become a habit then i don' t see anything wrong. it does not cause any problem as long as nobody gets hurt for example if it is used by a husband, he might start comparing his wife to the ladies on the phone.

Reply to tippy

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