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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/17

Cell phone inspection

Would it me unreasonable to ask my 14 year old son to remove all passwords from his cell phone? He is constantly on his cell phone. When I walk in, he hides the cell. I am getting worried about what he is up to. I cannot check his cell phone, because there are passwords. If I ask him to remove the passwords and check his phone regularly, would that be unacceptable?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

This is a fine line between his right to privacy and your rights as a parent to protect him.

It sounds like your instincts are giving you cause for concern and that should not be ignored.

Along with privacy comes responsibility - he needs to tell you or show you what is on the phone and if he refuses you have to decide under what conditions he can continue to have a cellphone - without passwords, or perhaps no cellphone at all if he cannot demonstrate he can be trusted.

It may well be things that he would be embarrassed about you seeing, so tread gently at first letting him know you dont want to invade his privacy but his cagey bevaiour is making you concerned.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/22

:) It isn' t wrong in the eyes of an adult but you will definitely stand on your child' s toes. Many years ago I was once one of those children, and believe me, the temptations out there will shock even the strongest of parents. Take my word for it, regardless of how they acting now, they are basing a great majority of their actions on you, your relationship with them and past transgressions. You only realise the damage you left in your wake once you in the real world and marriage and a family of your own comes into the picture, as was my case...
Just be there for them, don' t be a parent, sometimes they need more... Hope this helps.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/17

I am also a mom of a 16 year old. I' ve requested an itemised billing on his phone and if I see something strange he must explain it. Then sometimes I go through his phone also. I do not think that is unreasonable due to that he is acting strange.

Reply to Anonymous

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