Our expert says:
No this does not make you a bad father. Parenting is a very imperfect, imprecise science!
What is happening here is not at all unusual, but access to pornography needs attending to. If it is internet based there are a number of free programmes you can download so that any computers at home block sites not suitable for children and young people under the age of 18.
I would not necessarily confront her about it, but rather put the blocks on your computer.
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