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Question
Posted by: Jazz | 2012-02-07

caught hubby at 2am on laptop doing what...?? chatting online..?

It was at 2 am when i realised my husband was not in bed.. as i went to the spare room there he was on the bed in a total dark room (except for the light from laptop) in a very happy " space"  what do I do i asked"  what are you doing"  let me see..he logged off pulled the laptop from me (very obvious that he could ''ve chatted to someone online> > > ) I feel hurt and betrayed was told you not my mother and to please leave the room...how do i handle this going forward as we are married for 19 years...did I mention 2 kids..I don''t want to judge but this suspicious behavior has my head in a spin..any advise will be greatly apreciated!!

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Our expert says:
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Maybe h was chatting to someone online, maybe chcking out porn sites and masturbating. Encourage him trongly to enrer marriage counselling with you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jo-Ann | 2012-02-08

This is how my EX-husband started! On the phone or laptop till the wee hours of the morning, and will never let you work or touch his phone or laptop.

If you don''t do something, and he is willing to work with you, you will loose him and your marriage. I was married 17y with2 kids and nothing what i said or done made any difference as he said he didn''t need help and that nothing is wrong. Untill the end he maintained his innosence although there were so many indications of him having an affairs and me identifying the lady.

Please don''t fight for something if there is actually nothing, I tried for 3y but to no avail, rather walk out sooner and make it better for yourself.

Keep your head up!

Reply to Jo-Ann
Posted by: Jazz | 2012-02-07

I will keep a very close eye and if he persist will make him a " past tense"  Thanks everyone for the insight!

Reply to Jazz
Posted by: Me | 2012-02-07

Been there done that.
This is step number one of many horrible things to come.....
DO NOT BE STUPID like I was. Be SUSPICIOUS and do whatever you have to do to find out what is going on.
Without a doubt he is budy with disgusting things that will only lead to more disgusting things that WILL estroy your marraige if not sorted out asap.
There is no excuse for such behaviour and you cannot justify his actions by assuming he was busy with something ä cceptable.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Liza | 2012-02-07

He could also have been watching porn. Just because he was on the laptop doesn''t mean he was chatting with someone. Does he keep close tabs on his cellphone? If he never allows you to touch his cellphone, the chances are that he''s chatting with someone on the sly or even cheating on you. If he however leaves his cellphone lying around it usually shows that he isn''t up to something - unless he has a second phone you don''t know about.

Maybe he was even trying to find you a 20th anniversary present that is meant to be a surprise - I guess it''s not all that likely, but it is possible. Perhaps some couples counseling would help so that you can communicate effectively with each other and reduce mistrust?

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza

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