Our expert says:
What a load you carry ! Time for some Tough Love for the sons. Battling one's addiction sounds dramatic but is not exactyl a full-time occupation. And he would be more successful in staying clean if he DID take responsibilioty ( as should the girlfeidn ) for caring for their child, and taking on most of the household chores from you, as they have nothing else to do all day and would benefit from being occupied.
Keep remembering the boundaries between HIS problems and YOURs. Herpes was avoidable ( if we're speaking genital herpes ) and is HIS problem, not yours. HE must handey this, not you. YOu are not being at all selfish, but unselfish literally to a fault. Maybe it would be best for them to move out ( and if they won't care for the child and the house-work, they should ) or maybe it'd suit you for them to stay but take on all the chores that are wearing you out, caring for themselves and helping you too. That way you'd at least keep an eye on your innocent grandson. And there's no reason why your husband ought to have spasms on learning about these other problems ( which are not HIS any more than they are Yours ). Both of you must stop doing other people's jobs for them.
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