advertisement
Question
Posted by: Desparate | 2010-02-01

Cant move on!!

I have been in a relastionship for 5 years, but we have decome friends there is no spark left and we are becoming very abusive when we fight, i have asked her to leave about 8 times but she just ignores me and carries on like nothing is wrong with our relationship. This made me realise that i am a conveniants as i cook, clean take her to work and home, and she has a life of her own goes to parties get drunk and i sit and fall into depresion becouse i have no life or love anymore! what do i do?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is an abusive relationship, in which you are doing FAR too much for her. Who would anyone agree to leave someone who provides free accomondation, cooking, cleaning, transport, etc. LEAVE HER and make for yourself the life you deserve.
If the pair of you are living in a home you own, I understand you wouldn't want to leave it and epecially no to leave her in it. In that case, tell her cvalmly and firmly that she has 2 weeks in which to make her own alternative plans for her accomondation ; that in the meantime you will not cook or clean ormotherwise work for her, and that at the end of 2 weeks, if she is not gone, you will ask the police to remove her, forcibly if needed, and will change the locks so she cannot return. Declare independence.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2010-02-01

Have you thought of an Interdict? As to been seen as abusive, I doubt it, maybe in the begining but thats just till the next story does their rounds. Remember, she is doing this because you allow her to!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Desparate | 2010-02-01

It' s my house and everthing inside belongs to me, i feel bad as i know if i just kick her out where will she go she has nothing, and i realy dont want to be that man that is seen as abusive becouse she has nothing and i chased her out,as that is exsactly what will happen if i just kick her out, then all the harm, pain and anger she coused me will be null an void!! plus she just wont leave i have beged, more than once!
My bigest dream is to have a wife i love and a family of my own and i see it disapear infront of my eyes every day i go home!

Reply to Desparate
Posted by: Lady | 2010-02-01

You pack your things and leave - this woman is obviously taking advantage of you and everything you do for her. You are currently a convenience in her life and nothing more...from the sounds of it. Yes, it is without a doubt difficult to move on,,,but you need to find the courage and strength to realise that this is best for you, seems you are both just too comfortable. Find someone who will love&  APPRECIATE you and all those wonderful little things you do.

Reply to Lady
Posted by: Happiness | 2010-02-01

A friend of mine has been doing what you are doing for 13 years. He has left his woman atleast twice only to go back to the same abuse and unappreciation. I really want to hear what does Doc have to say about this problem.
I think you are also afraid of being without her, maybe you need her to get the sympathy from others, maybe she makes you feel better about your self I don' t know. But if you didn' t need her you' ll be out by now

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-01

This is an abusive relationship, in which you are doing FAR too much for her. Who would anyone agree to leave someone who provides free accomondation, cooking, cleaning, transport, etc. LEAVE HER and make for yourself the life you deserve.
If the pair of you are living in a home you own, I understand you wouldn't want to leave it and epecially no to leave her in it. In that case, tell her cvalmly and firmly that she has 2 weeks in which to make her own alternative plans for her accomondation ; that in the meantime you will not cook or clean ormotherwise work for her, and that at the end of 2 weeks, if she is not gone, you will ask the police to remove her, forcibly if needed, and will change the locks so she cannot return. Declare independence.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement