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Question
Posted by: Coralee | 2010/04/20

Can''t get him out of my head

I met this guy 11 years ago, we were both single, going thru divorces and have since married other people. Nothing has ever happened between us, I am so attracted to him and cannot get him out of my head. I saw him yesterday and my knees just wobble and my heart skips a beat. We are both still married and I don''''t want to mess up what I have so I need to know how to get him out of my head. We live in a small town so do often bump into each other. I am not sure how he feels about me. Should I tell him I think he is drop dead gorgeous and test the waters or just can the whole thing and put it down to fantasy?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It isn't HIM you are attracted to - it is your fantasy of him, your dreams of who he might be and what it might be like to be with him - all highly unlikely to match reality. I doubt whether he feels the same about you. The nostalgia you are infulginf in, is like longing to listen again to the kids serials on Springbok Rado, like you did as a kid - it's gone, its no longer here or reachable. Consider seeing a marriage counsellor to refresh your marriage and discover the joy you deserve within the relaonship you actually do have.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Ros | 2010/04/20

forget about him and put it down to fantasy, you are a married woman concentrate on your man or do you want to go for another divorce Mhhhhhhhhhhh

Reply to Ros
Posted by: Mhise | 2010/04/20

You know what, i think you are old and mature enough to know what''s right and what''s wrong.

If this " drop dead gorgeous hunk"  wanted to be with you or marry you for that matter he would have while you were still single and guess what, he didn''t. So just get over this silly fantasy and concentrate on your husband, the one you promised to love and respect...

Now i''m starting to wonder why you got divorced in the first place? Mhhhhhhhh

Reply to Mhise
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/20

It isn't HIM you are attracted to - it is your fantasy of him, your dreams of who he might be and what it might be like to be with him - all highly unlikely to match reality. I doubt whether he feels the same about you. The nostalgia you are infulginf in, is like longing to listen again to the kids serials on Springbok Rado, like you did as a kid - it's gone, its no longer here or reachable. Consider seeing a marriage counsellor to refresh your marriage and discover the joy you deserve within the relaonship you actually do have.

Reply to cybershrink

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