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Question
Posted by: Bianca | 2010/09/23

CANT FORGIVE MYSELF

I have a really big problem that I struggle to talk about last year I went through a break up where I lost the real big love of my life, we lived together aswell. After the break up I was broken and just cried all the time, I really need pcychological help but was too ashamed to seek it. Well being rejected but my ex and well silly little girl that I was wrote off my whole family for him, I started partying alot trying to fill the void, this went on for year and in the whole party thing I have done alot of bad stuff that I really regret especially the fact that I slept with alot of guys, the total has rised to 15 and I really cant believe that I have done all this.
I now have met the most compasionate and caring guy and I really love him alot we have almost been together for a year and he talks of marriage, he lives by the rules of the church and is really a decent guy I am so ashamed of what I have done, and cant get myself to tell him the truth regarding how many guys I have been with I have asked God to forgive me and I know that He has but yet I cant forgive myself never before did I really know what being loved by a descent guy.

Please help me to deal with these issues as it is really eating me up from the inside and I am starting to push away the most amazing person i have ever known.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Never be ashamed to seek psychological help shrinks are trained to be non-judgemental ( within very broad limits !) and will be concentrating on the issue of how you might be helped. And as you will have discovered, partying fills no voids. ( At least not any that benefit from being filled ).
Work with a counsellor on isues such as forgiving yourself. Remember that you can change the future, and the present, but you can't change the past, only your attitude to what you learned from the past. And living your life focussed on the past is like insisting on paying last year's rent all over again, as well as this year's.


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/24

Never be ashamed to seek psychological help shrinks are trained to be non-judgemental ( within very broad limits !) and will be concentrating on the issue of how you might be helped. And as you will have discovered, partying fills no voids. ( At least not any that benefit from being filled ).
Work with a counsellor on isues such as forgiving yourself. Remember that you can change the future, and the present, but you can't change the past, only your attitude to what you learned from the past. And living your life focussed on the past is like insisting on paying last year's rent all over again, as well as this year's.


Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Phil | 2010/09/23

Only a pleasure.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Ant | 2010/09/23

Hi there. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH Phil.

Leave the past in the past... even the bible tell us to leave the past in the past... it is overs-gedovers!

I will look for the verse in the bible if you want me to.

Have a wonderful rest of your day... knowing that you have been forgiven and that means that you are free!


Reply to Ant
Posted by: BIANCA | 2010/09/23

THNX FOR YOUR HONEST AND VERY CARING REPLY PHIL :-)

Reply to BIANCA
Posted by: Phil | 2010/09/23

Your past is in the past, leave it there. You have asked for forgiveness from GOD, and GOD will forgive you. Now you have to forgive yourself, and put the past to bed, into it''s grave and never let it out again. Don''t share your past with anyone, this was YOUR past and forgivness was between you and GOD. No one else needs to know about it. Trust me, the new guys doesn''t need to know,,,why? It can only spoil things, and like I said. He wasn''t part of that, he doesn''t need to know. It''s pver, gone and burried! 

Reply to Phil

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