Our expert says:
He sounds entirely inappropriately obsessed with your life and your sex life inparticular, long before he met you - crying and having nightmares about someone else's history is ridiculous on the face of it, and strongly suggests someone with enormous hangups he desperately needs to deal with in psychotherapy with a proper expert shrink, long before he is capable of forming a wholesome relationship with anyone.
Maybe a graceful way out of this is to tell him that you feel you really must break off the relationship because it is obvious that your past history is bringing him far too much pain. You will spend time on your own and come to terms with your past on your own, and you recommend that he should see a counsellor to deal with the awful hurt this seems to be causing him.
And be cautious - with these extreme over-reactions, he sounds not to be well balanced, and rather like a stalker, so he may not be safe to stay with or to leave. maybe consult a group ike POWA that advises abused women, because his reactions and behaviours, as you describe them, sound abusive.
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