Our expert says:
Candy, I have read some of the replies (yours and others') to this post and found myself wondering why you are not interested in working on the sex side anymore given that you don't want to be either 'selfish' (I call it 'self interested', which we all have to be at times, sometimes causing pain to others) or to 'ruin your best friend's life? I wonder what you have done thus far to explore whether it is infact possible to feel sexually attracted to him (I am assuming you must have done something; just not sure what... - if you would like to respond to this, please do so in a new post as I am only alerted to new posts and don't have the time to follow up on previous posts....)
There are several things you say that I challenge: (1) if is selfish of you to seek such fulfillment, is it also not 'selfish' of your 'best friend' to not encourage you to fulfill this need you have? (2) are you certain you will 'ruin' your husband's life - whilst divorce can be traumatic and cause substantial distress, I wonder whether it is in fact likely to 'ruin his life' - this could be catastrophic thinking that binds you to him rather than chosing to be with him.
I would encourage you to seek support in couple's counselling - suicide would be tragic and unnecessary option given that you could both survive and thrive whatever decision you take.
Claire - SASHA
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