Our expert says:
Pam, I'm not 100% certain what you are referring to when you say 'goes off' - I'm guessing that this means he loses his erection, but I'm not sure if you might mean that he 'cums' during this time ... What you are describing sounds like a combined problem related to your pain on attempted penetration, and either his lack of physical stimulation of his penis or a fear of sexual inadequacy. I think you would benefit from a clearer assessment and so would recommend that you try to access the services of a health care practioner with some experience in working with sexual issues - you could ask your GP or find a local practioner via the SASHA helpline (0860 100 262 - if you get through to netcare 911 ask for the SASHA line).
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