Our expert says:
You need, anyway, to see a shrink as soon as practical. Preferably whoever has been treating you and your bipolar disorder so far, as they should know you well, or if you have or somereason found their care unacceptable, a new shrink for a second opinion. You sound depressed and potentially suicidal, and this is something any shrink should take seriously. Your psychiarist will surely want to help, and should indeed consider the option of hospital admission for a while --- there is no need or you to be "commiitted" as you want treatment and admission
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