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Question
Posted by: Sade | 2008/08/03

can' t breath

Hello how do i tell my Mom that i' ve been living a lie just to please her?How do I tell her that I' m Lesbian without her Stirfrying my brain and without her killing herself?I can' t take it anymore' cant breathe. And im getting too big for this CLOSET.Please help me find a way of telling her without me losing her.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Sade, a warm welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

You don't need to please your mom! You've been doing it until now and it hasn't benefited either of you.

You are responsible for yourself - your own sense of integrity, your values and morals and the choices you make - and in the same way your Mom needs to assume responsibility for herself. You can only be truthful and honest with her and she must assume responsibility for the manner in which she responds to this. Stop trying to protect her from reality and rather allow her the opportunity to deal with who you really are. You're not too big for the closet - you're simply too mature to keep playing childish games with her. And perhaps your Mom will appreciate your not under-estimating her. It sounds as if you and your Mom have a somewhat manipulative relationship? Maybe it's time to stop playing games with each other.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Apache_boy | 2008/08/03

Hi Sade,

Wow, from my side, i will say it is a hard decision to make, i came out to my parents on saturday and they didnt take it well at all... both my parents freaked out, and unfortunatly, hints dont work... i have tried them all... i just went ahead and said, well, i am gay... it was hard, it was tough and i am still struggeling, but i know that my parents can deal with it in their own time... but you need to consider what and when is right for you darling. no one can make that decision for you, but you do have the right to happiness... in the end, it will be you alone... your mom cant live your life for you, but you have to pick the right time, place and mental attitude for it.

Good luck, and thanx a mill for posting here and please keep us up to date...

Hugs and love
Apache_boy

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