Posted by: Runell | 2012-11-06

Can you love someone on minute, and not the next

I am seeing a guy for the last year, when ever we fight he goes into no speak, no emails not answering his phone, in othert words no contact...after a week he will start answering my sms, stil very cold and distant...we had a fight last week, so we are just into talking again..I live in my own home and sees him only weekends....last weekend he did not touch me lovingly as ussual, I questioned him this morning to ask why is he so cold and does he not love me anymore, on which he answered, He does not know anymore as I make it difficult to love me when we fight...I mean guys everyone fights, can you love someone one day and not the next, do I need to move on?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Many people would say that love is bigger than that. You may like someone one minute, and not the next, but that's not really love.
"The Silent Treatment" is a common and usually unhelpful tactic in a quarrel. He sounds immature and assuming that he is always right. Sounds like he just doesn't know how to handle disagreement, let along squabbles. Couples counselling might help, but is he worth the struggle to get this right ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kacey | 2012-11-07

Hi. I was also in a relationship lyk urz bt diff is we wer 2getha 4 5yrz. I stayed wid that it definitely nt a healthy relationship i can relate to how u feeling i hated da silent treatment nd if derz lov in a relationshp der shud b lov even if der is a fite. My bf ended thngs between us bt 2months back and i feel it nt worth it 2 stay in a relationshp nd 2 b ignored nd feel alne in dat relationshp although i stuck wid hs bad habits luk wer it has ended me up. Thnk bout it n wetha u cn liv wid dat 4da rest of ur lyf wid hm. Im happier nw it ws hard 4me n it stil is but wen i thnk hw thngs wer it is beta dis way.

Reply to Kacey
Posted by: Runell | 2012-11-07

I sometimes feel so unlove in the relationship, maybe I should just let it go...he had a difficult childhood, not very loving parents...can all of this contribute to the problem he has?

Reply to Runell
Posted by: Anon | 2012-11-06

I would move on, sounds like a waste of time type of relationship.
Yes couples fight, but most people don''t ignore their partners for a week or more after a fight, it''s childish and solves nothing. Don''t you think you deserve beter than someone who doesn''t care enough to answer your calls?
Personally, I just wouldn''t be able to put up with someone like that in my life, all of it sounds as if he has very little respect for you and your relationship and deals with conflict so immaturely.

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