Posted by: DL | 2010/12/08

Can this be?

My partner and I have been together for a long time...We always had a fantastic sex life. Until last year when he had a heart attack. Since then, we have not had sex once. I brought it up yesterday after we read an article about some impotency pills being banned. I asked if he ever used it before - and he said no. I asked if he would need it now - and he said no, he doesnt need pills because he'' not interested in sex anymore. He is still on heart medication as well as anti-depressants. He''s convinced that it''s a side effect of the pills and that it will be this way forever. I can''t accept that. He was nothing like this before...I waited a year to bring this up to make him feel like I am willing to give him time to recover. He just don''t want to talk about it and asked me to drop the subject. Where do we go from here...We''re not old enough to just leave it at that. - I''m 34 and he''s 49. I can''t imagine not having a sex life anymore. It really feels like I''m being rejected - and I even asked him if he just doesn''t want to have sex with ME and use this as an excuse not to...He said it has nothing to do with me. We don''t ''cuddle'' anymore, he doesnt hold me anymore. It''s if he''s too scared to do so. Is this normal?
Please note: I posted this to the cyber doc as well - not sure into which catagory this falls.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear DL,

What you have described is a fairly common occurrence amongst men post a heart attack. Many men are quite traumatised by their experience and may post the heart attack harbour unconscious or unexpressed fears and anxieties that engaging in sexual activity could result in another traumatic experience of a repeated heart attack.

Whether this is the reason for your husband's reluctance to engage in your sexual relationship again is possible. Whether other factors may be playing a role is unknown at this point.

I would recommend you consider seeing a sex and relationship therapist who could possibly work with you and attempt to involve your husband to try and uncover the reasons for his reluctance to engage sexually again post his heart attack. The therapist could then work together with you and your husband's physicians to help overcome the problem.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2010/12/09

You are way too young to go without sex ! The anti-depressant tablets are more than likely his problem BUT he could also be nervous as he might feel that it will damage his heart.
I would strongly suggest that he sees a dr as this can be rectified.
Good luck

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Marisa | 2010/12/09

Hi DL. If you look at no 393.Me and my husband have the same problem.Only we are in the beginning stages.It may be the pills.I have looked up what the pills are made off.The side-effects of the anti-depressants,is the cause of my husband''s lack of sex drive.I am going to make a doctor''s appointment for him on Friday.I hope things work out for you guys.
Good Luck

Reply to Marisa

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