Our expert says:
There are two seperate, but linked, issues here.
In relation to the sexual aspect: It sounds like you are judging this man based on things which are entirely out of his control and are infact normal - his penis is likely to be of average size (10-15 cm when erect is normal) but some women have an unnecessary expectation that a larger penis is better. This does not have to be true - a woman's vagina is soft and supple and does not need to be stretched by a 'large' penis in order to enjoy the sensation. She needs to focus on the sensations, give constructive feedback to her lover so that he knows what to do to please her, and be active in the lovemaking. I'm afraid women are all too often part of the very unhelpful cycle of placing unrealistic and unfair expectations on their men to please them, and often without considering what THEY can do to improve the situation too. It is quite normal that a man will loose his erection after orgasm. This is usually problematic if he has reached orgasm before she has - this too can be worked on together. So as far as the sexual satisfaction goes, it may be that he has some learning to do, but the way you write about it, I think you probably do too.
With regards the feelings - yes the 'in love' feelings of the beginning of the relationship almost always decline in women, especially when they are in a safe committed relationship. In otherwords, if you enter into another safe & committed relationship, in time those 'lustful' feelings will in all likelihood diminish too. What usually keeps relationships going when these feelings decline is the love and attachment that you have with that partner. That too can go if the relationship is not taken care of by BOTH parties.
Claire - SASHA
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