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Question
Posted by: Ters | 2008/07/05

can not cope any more

I'm married, husband working in Angola, found out 3days ago about another women his engaged to for 9mnths. Because of money reasons I had to left our house in Pretoria, residing with a 9jr old boy with my parents, he is owing me alot of money we have been married for 11 yrs, Im taking Cymbalta 60 gram, but I just can not stop crying, Its difficult for me to contact my husband as there's always a problem with the lines, I started to pack some of my clothes and things because I don't want to live anymore but I don't want this other women to look after my son, but I just cannot cope anymore, we don't receive any maintanance Tertia

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Our expert says:
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This must have been terribly sad and disturbng for you. DOn't give up ; you will find that there will be much more for you and your son to live for --- don't let a man who behaved worse than a rat, cause you to punish yourself. Consult a lawyer. Does he work for a company in Angola ( in which case through their local office you could take some action against him ) or does he work for himself ? If he is married to you, he cannot be "engaged" to another woman, and you may warn the Angolan authorities to look out for this, as bigamy is a crime. The lawyer may be able to advise whether any of what he has owed you over the years can be recovered; a court can fix a Maintenance amount it can seek to compel him to pay. Is he a SA citizen ? If not, it may be more difficult. Does he have a SA bank account or other assets here ?
As he has been lying to you, he may even have been lying to the opther woman, who may not even know about his responsibilities and debts here. DOn't just give up the house in Pretoria --- if it is paid up and money is not owing on it, it is an asset which could possibly be legally seized and sold to pay his debts to you and for maintenance.
Cymbalta can help to treat Depression, but can't make anyone fel happy in such an awful situation. DO, please, also see a local counsellor or psychoatherapist to work on your feelings, and to help you make realistic plans to ensure that you and your child can have the happier future that you deserve

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Alice | 2008/07/08

I have been told that I do no know how to love... I agree I do not know how to show my feelings. I have called my self emotionally challenged! I am a realist and aloof and my husband a dreamer and very emotional. I am at wits end. Should I seek help?

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