Our expert says:
Presumably he was drunk a the time - which doesn't excuse his behaviour, vulgar and offensive a best ; but perhaps this aspect of him may only show itself when he's disinhibited by alcohol. It would seem very fair for you to chat sympathetically with his wife, about how everyone found his behaviour then to be offensive and worrying, and how you sympathize that it must have been embarrassing for her - and see what she thinks about it. This may be a more effective approach, before your husband tries chatting to him about it.
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