Our expert says:
Gosh. You sound like the sort of wife many men long for and never find. But maybe you have neen so selfless in dealing with so many of his problems and in apparently expecting nothing for yourself, that you may have trained him to overlook your needs and assume his life should always be as untroubled or untedious as you make it for him.
Maybe his family gets the attention they do both for family habit and cultural reasons, but also because they ASK for it and you don't ?
What you desire is entirely reasonable, except that apparently it would need him to change the habits of a lifetime.
And just quietly hoping for a major change isn't realistic. As Purple says, try talking quietly with him, maybe focussing on the need for you BOTH to change patterns as the child's birth approaches ( obviously he needs to make the most change, but it'll feel more acceptable for him if he can see it as a mutual efort and as necessitated by his becoming a father than by facing the fact that he's been a pretty lousy husband for so long ).
Like a spoiled child ( which in many ways he is ) he needs gentle but firm handling to help him to grow into an actual adult, supporting as well as supported. Try to steer him towards marriage counselling, and as Soul suggests, emphasizing that you now need help and support around the home.
Of course one understands your sense of bitterness, but in a way he's like a drug addict, and you are like his supplier now complaining that he has become dependent on what you supply. After the huge investment you have made, don't give up now, but move towards the changes you all need now.
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