Our expert says:
Sorry, folks, but I really can't handle these EXTREMELY long messages - it's just not prtactical. Also, it is useful for you to edit down to the nitty-gritty of the problem, as this helps you to understand the situation better.
This is FAR too complex a set of intertwined problems to be usefully dealt with in this format - it has no simply and summaizable answers. DO see a good local counnsellor to dicsuss this all in depth, and clarify what exactly are the problems and how they may best be dealt with.
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