Our expert says:
There's serious debate about whether this is genuinely an addiction or whether it is in any way useful to consider it as one.
From your description, no only did you act in ways that were really cruel to your husband, and perhaps others, but that this may have been done with an "addiction" to the unreal concept of a "soulmate" or "the one".
Now you find that the souldmate prefers to look at other mates or matings ?
If he is seeing a properly qualified and trained psychologist for counselling, and IF he truly wants to change this inconsiderate behaviour, maybe he can indeed change.
Enabling someone like him to excuse his voluntary behaviour as an "addiction" or "just the way some people are wired" is simply an excuse, and a way of avoiding taking personal responsibility for his actions.
And though you seem to talk mainly of his excessive atention to monline porn, you refer to "flesh" ( which is visible but not actually available online ) and to deceit and lies - are there convincin signs that he is physically unfaithful with other actual people, or is it all in the theoretical world of cybersex ?
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