Posted by: Amanda | 2009-01-19

Can a man be this cruel?

Hi All,

Is it possible that a man will make you pregnant, then decide that he wants nothing to do with you or the baby, plus tell you that he wants a paternity test?

Weeks down the line, he'  ll call to say he wants to meet with you, then dissapear again, ignores your calls or smses?

Last week i went into pre-term labour ( i am only 6 months pregnant), my sister sent him an sms to inform him, but he never even bothered to respond, fortunately they managed to stop the contractions.

Does this mean he doesn'  t care whether his son survives or not? Is he ever gonna come around and accept his son, even though he doen'  t want me, it'  s ok, but what about his son??

I am hurting so much, because i can see that he has obviously moved on and we have no place in his life anymore. He has met people who are better than me!

How do i forget about him and move on? How can he be so cruel? i think what makes it worse is that this is happening to me for the second time now, last relationshp i had, this guy proposed and everything was going so well, but he ran for his life when i told him i was pregnant ( that was 4 years ago), only to find that he was married!

This time around i was so unlucky, the condom bursted, even though i even took Morning after pills, i still fell pregnant, so i can'  t say this baby was a mistake, God had a plan for him as well.It'  s so hard going through pregnancy on your own, and i thought this time was gonna be different, but it'  s worse than before!

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you're sure he's the father, consult a lawyer, and have a court demand a paternity test --- and make him pay maintenance and other costs. People can be so cruel, sadly. The question is whether he will be a fit father to the kid, or whether the kid would be better off without such a person in his life.
And if this is happening for the second time --- why don't you ensure you don't fall pregnant until after the marriage and when you know the man better ? I agree with another one that this creture doesn't deserve to be called a man at all. Forget is wrong though, MEN are not like that. SOME men are.
And some see abortion as a no-no interms of their personal moral views --- others view premaritcal sex and continuing exposure to the risk of pregnancy as against their moral code, too.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Reality Check | 2009-01-20

Mandy- it' s called " CIRCUMSTANCES" , a lot of women especially black, think that by having a baby with a man it would make him stay!!! they should just get over it and grow up!!!

Reply to Reality Check
Posted by: c | 2009-01-20

the pill doesn' t work all the time... why is it that people that want kids don' t fall pregnant and those who doesn' t does? life isn' t fair

Reply to c
Posted by: Just M | 2009-01-20

How about you start using the pill?

Reply to Just M
Posted by: MANDY | 2009-01-19

Reality Check sis where are morals and values do you think abortion is an option shame on you.

Reply to MANDY
Posted by: Check | 2009-01-19

I guess this is what your mom meant when she said don' t sleep with anyone?

Reply to Check
Posted by: Reality check | 2009-01-19

and why didn' t you terminate the pregnancy??? i mean for real woman!!!

Reply to Reality check
Posted by: Amanda | 2009-01-19


I am not putting myself through that ever again, i WILL never sleep with him or any other man. Once beaten, twice shy!

Reply to Amanda
Posted by: Just | 2009-01-19

Make sure next time when he comes dont sleep wth him.He seems like a smooth operator and will find his way between ur legs.Do not go there with hi.As soon as the baby is born go for maintanance.The court will sort him out for u.

Reply to Just
Posted by: df | 2009-01-19

The wheel turns and these men will eventually get whats coming to them. Good luck

Reply to df
Posted by: Forget | 2009-01-19

Men are like that. It also happened to me. Forget about him completely, you have your whole life ahead of you. He will one day come back but you must be careful. Look after yourself and go out and meet new people. That child is a blessing!

Reply to Forget
Posted by: Also another one | 2009-01-19

Same happened to me, but mine even blamed his best friend of stabbing him in the back and making me pregnant. they are sorthless and hope that they take responsibility for their actions some time in life!!!

Reply to Also another one
Posted by: Another one | 2009-01-19

Don' t call this rubbish a man. A man takes responsibility for his actions and does what is best for his children. This is a louse. Don' t focus on forgetting him, he has already moved on with his life and does not need any complications! You now have no other option but to move on with your life. You will soon have another little life that you are responsible for. Focus on your wellbeing and your baby and make plans to bring your baby into the world without this " thing"  in your life. Does your baby really deserve to have him as a father. Say good riddance, place your hands over your growing tummy and do what is best for both of you. Even if he decides to see his child he will dissapear and reappear as he sees fit. He is not stable or trustworthy. You were good enough to sleep with, but now he has the odasity to ask for a test? Also, God has a plan with everything. Unfortunately we do not always think carefully before we sleep with people. He wasn' t even worth your time. At least you will have a beautiful baby that you can bring up to be a wonderful, caring and responsible man.

Reply to Another one

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.