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Question
Posted by: Lindsay | 2009/10/22

Calling him someone else dusing sex

My boyfriend is very insecure, lately I have been working in a large company and my social life has changed a bit. I still spend time with him but now I also receive a lot of calls from co workers. Some are males, yes. Since receiving calls from male co workers we have been having problems because he believes am cheating. I am not am just friends with them. Last weekend he claims that I called him someone during lovemaking, the name he claims I called him, is not even a name of any of my male friends from work. How do I convice him that he is wrong?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What are the calls rom co-workers about ? If work related, why don't you guys manage to finish the work while at the office ? If social calls, its understandable that your bf feels bothered by these. If there are social events with work friends, why can't you take your bf along to them, with you ?
If you can't sort this out in calm discussion, maybe seeing a couples counsellor could help

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2009/10/23

My ex wife was in the same type of profession as you, I hated every minute of it cause she was never home, always out at work functions, promotions etc... it was one of the many reasons we divorced, she could never seperate work from home, and I do understand it though. Just that I never wanted to be married to a person whos'  always work came first.

Your boyfriend has to either understand that this is your work or he or you must leave. Its not easy. You probably need to find someone in the same field of work as you, will make your life easier.

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Lindsay | 2009/10/22

Its work related but entertainment driven, am In Public Relations for a large company while I used to work for a small NGO and nothing that much was happening. Now my budget alllows me to organise many activities which makes us (workers) to get together regualrly (whether buying tickets for dinners, concerts, trips etc). He is accusing me of behaving like a celebrity which a not.

Thanks everyone.

Reply to Lindsay
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/22

Maybe you should ask your work friends not to call you outside office hours, unless it is strictly work related and deadline driven. Also try organising a get together so your bf can meet them and mYBE BECOME FRIENDS.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: whoever | 2009/10/22

I have a similar problem with my BF. He works ALL the time and I get bored when he' s not available and yes, then I do hang out with my friends but most of them are male (I would LOVE to make female friends but women can be so stupid and insecure sometimes so they avoid me like the plague!!!).
And yes, of course my BF gets insecure.
He asked me once: If the shoe was on the other foot, how would YOU feel?
This put things into perspective and I find that now I am being a lot more considerate - but it is a little difficult as I do not want to be a recluse either.
Maybe just try draw some lines and ask your work mates to maybe give you space in your personal time with your BF.
You can only assure him to an extent tho, and he may need counselling to help his self-esteem and realise he is valuable and wanted.

Reply to whoever
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/22

What are the calls rom co-workers about ? If work related, why don't you guys manage to finish the work while at the office ? If social calls, its understandable that your bf feels bothered by these. If there are social events with work friends, why can't you take your bf along to them, with you ?
If you can't sort this out in calm discussion, maybe seeing a couples counsellor could help

Reply to cybershrink

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