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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2009/10/19

Bulimia in men

Hi Doc,

Can self esteem issues be a cause for bulimia, in men in pariticular? Why does does someone do it? Im sure its a huge topic

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm not so sure that they're a CAUSE, but I'm sure they may co-exist. How and why someone creates a career as anorexic or bulemic is indeed conplex and not yet well understood. There are problems with self-image, indeed experiencing one's body size and shape highly inaccurately ; and control issues. Sometimes it seems as thouh, feeling unable to control some important aspecs of one's life, one may choose to control fanatically one's size and shape, even though it's not relevant to what you need to control, but just because it is more easily controllable.
And the inensely sick role models provided by the fashion industry and some elements in film and TV, promoting unhealthily skinny people as models of beauty can help to persuade people who feel unattractive or unpopular to think that if only they were also painfully thin, they might become attractive and popular. Of course they don't, as ordinary people find the bodies produces by anorexia / bulimia very unatractive and rather alarming. But instead of recognizing that their theory must be wrong, anorexics / bulemics tend to just try even harder to do the wrong thing which is not working

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/19

Another way you can build your self esteem is dress in a way that makes you feel good. i dont mean expensive clothes. I mean if you like colour them wear colour everyday. O r if you think black makes you feel hot then wear black. Just dont ever wear something just because its there. Also tink positive thoughts. Its small, but it helps

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/19

I know how you feel, I have gone for help but I dint feel like it was right for me. I was too messed up at the time. In a way i wasnt ready to stop yet. I think you can stop because you at least gym alot and that will keep you fit. just dont take it overbourd and become a fanatic at the gym. Gte some help, I think it will work for you. You are insecure, you just need to build your self esteem and you will get better. go see a shrink. if you cant afford to them do it on your own. cut down the number of times you throw up a day, like go from 5 times to 4 and then to 3 and eventually you will be on one time a day and then you can stop all togther. take it slow. it is possible.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Anon | 2009/10/19

Hi Almost Mad, Im the poster of the question. Im a man and am bulimic, I wish I knew why I do this to myself. Im scared to go and see someone about it cause Im so embarrased. Im not thin or fat, actually quite well built and trim as i gym alot. I think that Im never really good enough for people and Im very hard on myself, I lack self esteem and struggle to think that Im really worth alot to anyone. Its a difficult situation and I know that I need some professional help to understand why Im doing this.

Have you gone for help?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/19

hi, im not a man but i am bulemic. I became this way because of low self esteem and my need to be thin at all costs. I wanted to be loved and I felt that the only way peoiple would like me or be my friend was if i was beautiful...and that meant thin. people do it because they are sick, mentally anyway. Its easy.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/19

I'm not so sure that they're a CAUSE, but I'm sure they may co-exist. How and why someone creates a career as anorexic or bulemic is indeed conplex and not yet well understood. There are problems with self-image, indeed experiencing one's body size and shape highly inaccurately ; and control issues. Sometimes it seems as thouh, feeling unable to control some important aspecs of one's life, one may choose to control fanatically one's size and shape, even though it's not relevant to what you need to control, but just because it is more easily controllable.
And the inensely sick role models provided by the fashion industry and some elements in film and TV, promoting unhealthily skinny people as models of beauty can help to persuade people who feel unattractive or unpopular to think that if only they were also painfully thin, they might become attractive and popular. Of course they don't, as ordinary people find the bodies produces by anorexia / bulimia very unatractive and rather alarming. But instead of recognizing that their theory must be wrong, anorexics / bulemics tend to just try even harder to do the wrong thing which is not working

Reply to cybershrink

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