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Question
Posted by: toni | 2009/11/01

bulimia

I recently moved to a new country and some days i feel very sad, i lie in bed all day and i eat and purge. this has been going on for a year (since i moved). on the outside i am as happy as a pig in mud but I am really worried for my health. I have suffered from bulimia since the age of 15 but havent purged for 2 years prior to this 2009. please help
i cannot afford a psych
there is no hotline in this country
and my medical insurnce would inform my employer, my job would be at stake.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Stop allowing yourself to lie in bed all day. Get up and get busy with something. If you have no job ( why did you move to a new country ? ) get involved in social and charitable work, and keep busy.
You don't mention which country you are in, so its impossible for me to guess what resources you might have. There must be some sort of government health clinics or hospitals where you could be seen and assessed. I don't see why it would be ethical or proper for your medical / health insurers to inform your employers about your diagnosis or treatment. At least ask the medical insurance company directly to officially confirm whether your diagnosis and treatment would be confidential or not.
And I don't see why your job should be at stake, as in most countries employers are not allowed to discriminate against employees on medical grounds. Maybe if you lied about your health in your job application they might have a beef, but in some countries they're not even allowed to ask such questions.
Either way, if you keep it secret and get more seriously ill, as is possible, the facts could come out accidentally and you would look much worse. Someone who hides an illness would be reasonably more of concern to an employer than someone who has any illness, but admits it and gets proper treatment for it.
Presumably, you would also have the option of returning home and resuming treatment there ? And check out whether you could get help from the Medical School of your nearest university

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/02

Stop allowing yourself to lie in bed all day. Get up and get busy with something. If you have no job ( why did you move to a new country ? ) get involved in social and charitable work, and keep busy.
You don't mention which country you are in, so its impossible for me to guess what resources you might have. There must be some sort of government health clinics or hospitals where you could be seen and assessed. I don't see why it would be ethical or proper for your medical / health insurers to inform your employers about your diagnosis or treatment. At least ask the medical insurance company directly to officially confirm whether your diagnosis and treatment would be confidential or not.
And I don't see why your job should be at stake, as in most countries employers are not allowed to discriminate against employees on medical grounds. Maybe if you lied about your health in your job application they might have a beef, but in some countries they're not even allowed to ask such questions.
Either way, if you keep it secret and get more seriously ill, as is possible, the facts could come out accidentally and you would look much worse. Someone who hides an illness would be reasonably more of concern to an employer than someone who has any illness, but admits it and gets proper treatment for it.
Presumably, you would also have the option of returning home and resuming treatment there ? And check out whether you could get help from the Medical School of your nearest university

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Garfiled | 2009/11/01

T, you have made the right decision in moving away so you can grow on your own. you deserve to move away from the combinaton of results in the situation your dad and step mom and mom leave you in now.

(I am not saying they have created your situation, but I still think its good that you are away from them).

You DO NOT need to be bulimic, you are a beautiful young women and you would be much better served putting your determination and control of self into more constructuve uses. You have SO MUCH potential (as I have told you before!)

(If I have it completely wrong &  you are not the individual that I think you are, then apologies, but the fundamentals of what I am saying stll apply anyway).

Go and find a univeristy or help or support group to help you affrim what you already know, that you neither deserve, nor nead the treatment you are currently giving yourself.

You deserve WAY more, and you are great ... just believe it!

If you are who I think you are, then you are welcome to contact me ... you know where to fnd me, and I really hope you know that you are SO welcome to do so and I will never share it with anyone.

(Apologies again if you are not the person I am referring specificaaly to - you will know if you are) .. but I still refer to you with the same sincerity - as no one deserves to suffer so unecessarily and there are positive ways to conquer it.

Hope you can believe that treatment IS achievable, whether you are the " T"  I am thinking of or not.

Sincere, Best Wishes
Garfeld

Reply to Garfiled

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