Our expert says:
Your wife must have been glad to have her brother with you and I can understand her excitement. You did say that he was going to be ther for 2 months and not more.
You have a problem in that he shaows no sign of enabling himself and has become a sponge. Both you and your wife need to establish some boundaries. A boundary is defines as "What is mine is mine and what is yours is yours". He is stepping over all your boundaries and is not respecting you.
He is 54 and needs to take some responsibilty for his life. You stay away because it reduces conflict and this is not good for your relationship with your wife. Get her on board and tell her how you feel, but remember she may be very defensive as blood is blood. Tell her how you feel without being angry and then, as a team, be assertive with your brother in law, not aggressive.
Your anger stems from frustration and a sense of invasion of your privacy.
Life Coach for Men
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