Posted by: Jude | 2009-02-20


I don' t know if I am posting in the right place but I do think my predicament is a pschological one and not physical. I have a 14 month old baby. Well I can' t call him a baby anymore, he is now a toddler, running all over the place and loving his independance. Lately I am feeling so desperate to have a small baby in my arms again but I think I am being selfish to my first born. I worry what the psychological impact would be on him. The trauma of not being my one and only etc etc. My time would have to be divided and his space being invaded would impact him quite alot. And then, I feel bad for second born to be. I would never be able to give him or her the devotion I gave my first and I feel quite bad and guilty about that. I would love my children to be close but not to the detriment of their emotional well being.
I think too much and worry too much. Is there a cure for worriers???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Be cautious about this urge --- you don't want to end up like the mother of 14, including Octuplets, in California. Learn to enjoy your child at all his ages. Too ofren a woman who kost values the phase of total dependency of a child, tends to want a replacement infant, as soon as the child starts to walk and be independent --- that isn't a wholesome reason for having another baby. The first-born usually does feel a bit out of joint when another baby comes along, but especially with a bgger gap between them, can be recruioted to be the "Big Boy who helps look after the little one. Let's see what other readers think about the issues you raise

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: jcat | 2009-02-20

My younger sister and I are 15 months apart, and while it must have been hard for my mom, and I know there were some issues when we were small, it' s really great being close in age. Since about 8 or so, we' ve always been friends and confidants, as well as sisters. Most of the things that I remember as problems were minor things like having to wait until I was X years old before I was allowed to do something, but then as soon as I was allowed, my sister was too. Especially when young, it' s important that the older child gets some recognition of being the ' big boy'  etc, to compensate for the time and attention he loses out on.

In the long run, though, having kids close in age is great.

Reply to jcat
Posted by: Jude | 2009-02-20

Thanks Cybershrink! I had to laugh about your comment on the mother of 14! LOL, I am crazy about my baby and crazy for a new baby but I don' t think THAT crazy! LOL!
You are right and I am being a little rash!
Do you feel emotionally for a child there is a right age gap?

Reply to Jude

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