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Question
Posted by: Mina | 2010/07/23

Broken promises

My boyfriend promised to marry me next year in february. I began telling everyone and he had already told his family and our friends. Now out of nowhere he is not saying what are his reasons behind but he has began dropping hints that february is not possible.

He had also changed from a person who used to use a lot of " we"  into " I" . Should I sit him down and ask what''s going on? Yesterday I did not say much to him except that he lacks intergrity. I am now embarassed because my friends are asking me about the preparations towards the wedding and now it looks like its something that won''t be happening anytime soon.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like he really needs to explain himself - he may have innocent and reasonable grounds for wanting to change the date, for instance, but shouldn't leave it to you to guess ; and if there's nothing wrong with his reasons ( and maybe even more so if there is ) he ought to tell you, and discuss it.
If your friends ask, refer them to him, saying he sems to fel there's a need for a delay, but that he hasn't explained it to you.
It does sound as though he's getting cold feet, but as the engagement involves both of you, he owes you a calm and reasonable discussion.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/23

I have a fantastic sense of humor, but these jokes are not funny at all and i think you are sick to make cancer jokes, clearly you have no one in your life who died from cancer.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Doubtless | 2010/07/23

Thats your opinon and your limited sense of humour!

have a nice day

Reply to Doubtless
Posted by: Not funny | 2010/07/23

If those jokes are meant to be the lighter side, I''d rather have a boyfriend with cold feet!

Reply to Not funny
Posted by: doubtless | 2010/07/23

your boyfriend seems to be getting cold feet, best thing to do is open a safe non threatening enviroment to talk about what is going on, remember that what is happening in your life right now is pretty much a massive sterotype of men and marriage and commitment, you need to be honest and find a way to get him to be honest to find out where you are and where your going.

On a lighter side heres some jokes: -

My friend has a dog he called carpenter so i asked him whats with the dogs name, he told me he called him carpenter because every time he kicks the dog in the balls he makes a bolt for the door.

What do you give a deaf and blind child for Christmas? cancer

have a nice day!

Reply to doubtless
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/23

Sounds like he really needs to explain himself - he may have innocent and reasonable grounds for wanting to change the date, for instance, but shouldn't leave it to you to guess ; and if there's nothing wrong with his reasons ( and maybe even more so if there is ) he ought to tell you, and discuss it.
If your friends ask, refer them to him, saying he sems to fel there's a need for a delay, but that he hasn't explained it to you.
It does sound as though he's getting cold feet, but as the engagement involves both of you, he owes you a calm and reasonable discussion.

Reply to cybershrink

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