Our expert says:
Usually, the aim of such a long engagement is to have the opportunity to get to know each other well enough not to have any unpleasant surprises after marriage.
If your wife has "issues" which make her and others ( like you ) miserable, then she has a responsibility to see a proper shrink to work on solving these issues. She needs to be told, calmly and firmly that her behaviours such as the abusive screaming is not tolerable and won't be tolerated. She must either see a shrink and work hard and sincerrely to solve these problems, or end the marriage, as she has no right to marinate herself in whatever her "issues" are, and then inflict her fury on anyone else. She may, from the sound of it, need more psychotherapy than counselling, and from a really experienced psychologist rather than only a counsellor - and may need to be very sincerely engaged in making the necessary changes.
It seems unlikely that she is only this un pleasant when with you in private, and she has probably revealed this aspect of herself to others, qwho wont be surprised if you choose to leave her, and will probably understand. If anyone chooses to gossip, they're a malicious fool who deserves to be ignored
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