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Question
Posted by: sad | 2011/04/17

broken marriage

Dear CS<br><br>My husband and I have been going for marriage counseling for almost 2 monhts now. But, instead of improving, it seems to be getting worse. My husband who has been emotionally and verbally abusive is not making any effort to act differently and now acts as though he has a licence to treat me the way he does. We have mainly been having separate sessions with the psych, so something is goign wrong. I did mention this to the psych, and we had a couples session immediately. That made no difference. I now feel even more desperate about my situation. What am I to do now? I now have to take tranquillizers (my GP prescribed) to help me cope with my husband, a month AFTER starting our therapy. I despair about everything.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Have you, firstly, discussed this with the counsellor, directly ? Separate sessions may make sense at some stages in the process, but not as the main method ; and if such problems continue or worsen, the counsellor now should have a good uderstanding of your viewpoint, and shopuld also understand your husband's, and should be able to make good use of this knowledge, rather than keeping it in separate compartnents.
I know it's too easy to say, but do not despair. Maybe your counsellor / shrink isn't quite skilled enough in dealing with this particular type of problem. Maybe he's working to some larger plan, but over-looking the immediate effects on you, and overlooking the requirement that he explain any larger plan explicitly and clearly to you. Whatever the reasons, this situation MUSt be remediable. Discus it in detail with your shrink who has an absolute duty to take your concerns seriously, and to deal with them realistically. If not, you may need to see a different shrink

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/17

Have you, firstly, discussed this with the counsellor, directly ? Separate sessions may make sense at some stages in the process, but not as the main method ; and if such problems continue or worsen, the counsellor now should have a good uderstanding of your viewpoint, and shopuld also understand your husband's, and should be able to make good use of this knowledge, rather than keeping it in separate compartnents.
I know it's too easy to say, but do not despair. Maybe your counsellor / shrink isn't quite skilled enough in dealing with this particular type of problem. Maybe he's working to some larger plan, but over-looking the immediate effects on you, and overlooking the requirement that he explain any larger plan explicitly and clearly to you. Whatever the reasons, this situation MUSt be remediable. Discus it in detail with your shrink who has an absolute duty to take your concerns seriously, and to deal with them realistically. If not, you may need to see a different shrink

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