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Question
Posted by: maggie | 2012-07-20

broken heart

I have been in a relationship with a man for 10 months, in the beginning evertything was so nice, he really went out of his way to make me feel special and loved, i also have two boys that are mentallty handicapped, and he said he is fine with it, and that he will be able to cope with it. Later on the love seemed to fade, as we didnt see each other everyday anymore, and i had to put my kids in the school hostel. he said it was for my own good. Everytime i didnt hear from him i flipped and throw my toys out the cot. i have been in severral abusive relationships and he understood that i was insecure. Well the bottom line of our relationship was that he couldnt keep me happy and i didnt feel loved as in the beginning. He argued alot and i wasnt happy the way he saw my kids, he always pushed me to bond with his kids seeing that they still lived with him. when he went on one of his hunting,fishing,golfing weekends he didnt bother to phone or sms. i dont know how to get over his cause i take the blame cause i didnt gave him enough space, i dont understand how men operate, i felt left out. i want to make it right, with him but it seems like a lost case. i am really desperate, i want to learn how to treat a man so that i dont smother him. please help me!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As often in such complex situations, I wonder whether it wouldn't be wise to see a couples counsellor together, and see what's the wisest decision you can reach ?
And the puzzle isn't "men" because you're not trying to form a relationship with the entire species. Its about YOU ( not "women" ) and a relationship with THIS man, under these circumstances ; with your previous bad experiences ( and maybe some of his ) and your concern about your children, and so on. That's very specific, and where personal counselling is most helpful

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-07-21

As often in such complex situations, I wonder whether it wouldn't be wise to see a couples counsellor together, and see what's the wisest decision you can reach ?
And the puzzle isn't "men" because you're not trying to form a relationship with the entire species. Its about YOU ( not "women" ) and a relationship with THIS man, under these circumstances ; with your previous bad experiences ( and maybe some of his ) and your concern about your children, and so on. That's very specific, and where personal counselling is most helpful

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