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Question
Posted by: gina | 2012/01/17

broken heart

Hi Doc,
im so depressed i dont know what to do, 8 months ago i met a man going through a divorce with 2 kids, we striked up a pretty solid relatiionship, his wife cheated on him various times... he told me i was his soulmate, well the other night i did what i suppose was not correct (call it womans intuition) i went through his phone and found a message he had sent his friend that he still has feelings for his ex wife, and it would be easier to got back for the kids sake as he misses them terribly, i confronted him he took off at me and denied it, hence the reason for our breakup... im devasted and hurt please help !

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe you're sad and disappointed, rather than depressed ? NEVER start a relationship with a married man or someone "going through a divorce" or recently having done so. It is very highly likely than anyone still "going through" a divorce will still have feelings for their ex, and will not be free to start and continue an honest and frank relationship with anyone new.
And be VERY cautious about anyone who uses the word "soulmate" - its a fantasy and used to manipulate others.
He should get proper legal advice, as his ex or wife is not entitled to refuse him access to the kids, and any court would decide the issue on the basis of whatever is best for the kids.
You started an unrealistic relaionship with someone still emotionally tangled in his existing relationship, and not free to committ to anyone else, and you expected unrealistically too much. Take your time and you will be able to find a better relationship with someone actually free to love you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/17

One should ever date a going through a divorce - only a man who is divorced.
Although you are hurt you must take some resposibility for the heart ache you are suffering.
As CS says in future only invest time with a man who is emotionally and legally available......you have learned an important life lesson in your mistake.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: GINA | 2012/01/17

Thank you doc very sound advise.

Reply to GINA
Posted by: Romany | 2012/01/17

Better now than later.... Blood is ALWAYS thicker than water

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/17

Maybe you're sad and disappointed, rather than depressed ? NEVER start a relationship with a married man or someone "going through a divorce" or recently having done so. It is very highly likely than anyone still "going through" a divorce will still have feelings for their ex, and will not be free to start and continue an honest and frank relationship with anyone new.
And be VERY cautious about anyone who uses the word "soulmate" - its a fantasy and used to manipulate others.
He should get proper legal advice, as his ex or wife is not entitled to refuse him access to the kids, and any court would decide the issue on the basis of whatever is best for the kids.
You started an unrealistic relaionship with someone still emotionally tangled in his existing relationship, and not free to committ to anyone else, and you expected unrealistically too much. Take your time and you will be able to find a better relationship with someone actually free to love you

Reply to cybershrink

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