Our expert says:
This isn't the end of the relationship, and should not be allowed to cause lasting damage to your life, either. A divorced or widowed woman with a child is naturally sensitive, and would want to ensure that her child will be protected and cared for. This is one reason why they may find it very difficult to form new relationships, as many men are not prepared to take on the challenges of a woman and child together.
She understandably hopes you will accept her child as your own, but needs to recognize that this will be as a good step-parent, and any children you father yourself would have a different relationship with you - not deficient or second-rung, but diferent, and that this is acceptable and for everyone's benefit.
What might ve wise would be to ask her to join you in some couples counselling sessions to work this out between you, with expert help and support, rather than in the midst of an argument
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