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Question
Posted by: Edna | 2009-10-19

Broken heart

I' ve got a problem with my fiance'  always when we have a argument he goes to a certain neighbours in our street and discuss me with them. Earlier this year i noticed that this neighbour is not greeting me...oneday i told my fiance'  about this guy as our neighbour not greeting me...i also told him i think it' s cause he is always complaining about me to them.....

Last week Friday the same neighbour came visit my fiance' ....he started critizing me about me not cooking in our house, me not being a real wife and happy to have a husband like my fiance' ....and told me afterwards that i should respect my husband' ...lastly end up satying i should stop buying clothes.

So i was just thinking since he is not always visiting us my fiance'  has probably told him all this about not cooking in the house etc.... i am so dissapointed in him...i really felt so bad thinking how can you live with someone and he goes around to the neighbours and disscusses you....something i never did and never will do and yet he is much older than me....he is 48years and i am 35years...i mean he is matured enough to solve his own problems..or if he can' t solve it there is councellors he can
speak to that won' t come to our house critizing me.

I don' t know am i overreacting but i' m really feeling destroyed since i' m also a major depression sufferer..and it is really not easy dealing with issues like this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He's foolish not to realize that discussing a lover's quarrel with anyone else is never wise - maybe he feels out of his depth and unable to handle your arguments ?
It's absolutely outrageous for any neighbour to have the cheek to tell you what you should or should not do within your relationship.
I think you should tell your fiancee that these discussions behind your back are unacceptable, and for him to tolerate the neighbour scolding you is also unacceptable. And suggest that if he wants this relationship to continue, he should join you in proper relationship . couples counselling, to sort out the problems you both have at present

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-10-20

if that happened to me I would have blew my lid with my fiance. This neighbour sounds like a very poisenous person in your life and seems to be creating more problems rather than being a good friend to your fiance. Your fiance is being totally disrespectful to speak to other people about your relationship. Please what ever you do, dont let these people brainwash you or you fiance into what is and what isnt a good wife. If you want to start cooking etc then thats great but dont do it just because of your stupid neighbour, do it because you happy to.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-10-20

He's foolish not to realize that discussing a lover's quarrel with anyone else is never wise - maybe he feels out of his depth and unable to handle your arguments ?
It's absolutely outrageous for any neighbour to have the cheek to tell you what you should or should not do within your relationship.
I think you should tell your fiancee that these discussions behind your back are unacceptable, and for him to tolerate the neighbour scolding you is also unacceptable. And suggest that if he wants this relationship to continue, he should join you in proper relationship . couples counselling, to sort out the problems you both have at present

Reply to cybershrink

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