Our expert says:
Maybe your relationship agreement just about managed to work while this was an attenuated long-distance relatonship ? Presumably his kids have been used to their accustomed amount of time with him, and resent him spending any of that time with anyone else. But that was not at all about you "destroying other people's lives" - people, maybe especialyl kids, like things to remain as they are, and resist change, especially if they dont see any advantages to it.
Don't you think you are maybe over-dramatizing this and certainly over-blaming yourself here ?
You are being farm far too harsh on yourself. Children being miffed and onconveniences, does not equal destruction.
Explore this all further, in conversation together.
Have the kids had much chance to meet you and spend time with you, alone and together with their father ? If not, wouldn't that be a good idea ?
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