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Question
Posted by: Nan | 2012-10-03

Breakup

I recently terminated the relaionship with my bfriend but encouraged him to still be friends. - now I sense that there seem to be a bit of tension . Is it appropriate to send him a message just to say that I hope there is no ill feeling between us. I want to check if he is for de friendship issue or not because I didn''t mind to.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not always a great idea to try to remain "just friends" after the breakup of a meaningful relationship, and this may make friendship impractical and prlong the grief and discomfort. If he eventually feels like considering friendship as an alternative, let him contact you. Let it rest for a while while youy both move on as you need to do.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jorge | 2012-10-16

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Reply to Jorge
Posted by: qwerty | 2012-10-04

He may have agreed to stay friends in the hopes that you will " come around"  and resume the romantic relationship, or even just to keep you in his life. If it''s recent break up, and you''re the one who did the breaking, there''s every reason to believe that he is definitely not over you romantically yet, and it will be very hard for him to move on if you are still in his life.

Leave him be and give him the space to move on (even if he says he doesn''t need it), and in time, you may well be able to just be friends. But not now.

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: Maria | 2012-10-04

Being friends after a breakup doesn''t hurt. Nobody can tell you whether or not you should send him a message, it''s not as if there is a general acceptable rule. If it was me I would just leave him be and let him make contact if he wants to. Perhaps he is in a new relationship and his new gf won''t feel comfortable if he is still in contact with an ex?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-10-04

Its not always a great idea to try to remain "just friends" after the breakup of a meaningful relationship, and this may make friendship impractical and prlong the grief and discomfort. If he eventually feels like considering friendship as an alternative, let him contact you. Let it rest for a while while youy both move on as you need to do.

Reply to cybershrink

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