Posted by: pinky | 2009-02-16



My boyfriend &  I have recently broke up he has moved out - drunken night lead astray(no sex involved)had given a hand job this is the first time in 5 years that this has ever happend - I am crying myself to sleep at night with regret
I love him very much - how do I regain his trust - what do I do now

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Our expert says:
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Question's response makes a lot of sense. Crying, while understandable, isn't, as you have surely discovered, useful. There's no simple way to regain his trust. Re-open communication, apologise, and see if he might even be interested in some sessions of couples counselling to see if this can be sorted out.
Unfortunately, we have to face the reality that some decisions on our part ( including the decision to get drunk enough to make lousy further decisions ) are deal-breakers and can have long-term consequences. If this relationshipm is over, that's sad, but if you learn this, that in itself will be valuable to you through life

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Our users say:
Posted by: Question | 2009-02-17

I' m assuming YOU gave someone the hand job ? If so, I wonder why on earth you would do that ? The excuse that you were drunk does not ring true, at the time you knew what you were doing and that it was wrong, but I agree that you probably did not consider the consequences. I really don' t blame your B/F for " getting on his toes"  as your behaviour reflects poor judgement on your part and an inclination to get down and dirty when the opportunity presents itself. You can try to get him back and make all the usual promises to behave etc, but for my money the trust has been broken, you have crushed his male pride and its a realo major deal breaker. Perha[ps take this as a wake up call to have a good look at yourself, find another man and get on with your life.

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