Our expert says:
Sounds as though the break-up was unhappy on both sides, and caused by circumstances outside your immediate control, rather than insuperable problems within the relationship.
Such events in life are indeed sad, and need to be mourned.
Why he now says he hates the town you're in, so strongly, is puzling, and he owes you a proper explanation for that. There may be factors that don't directly involve you that makes him scared or loath to return to this town - odd, though, that he doesn't seem to have mentioned this at the time of his leaving it.
But then to your unresolved grief at the loss of this relationship was aded other real losses - the death of your grandfather ( and apparently the first death of someone you really knew ), and the death of your dog - and in a situation in which you had to make the sad decision to let the vet put him down - by far the kindest thing for the dog, but the hardest for you. Sometimes real love means we have to make such sacrifices.
And your relationship to the dog was probably much closer emotionally than your relationship to your grandfather, as often happens.
Don't feel guilty, you have done, and are doing, nothing wrong. But do see a counsellor to help you deal with this large pile of loss that has arrived on your lap. In time you will, for instance, be able to remember all the good times with your dog with joy that they happened, rather than with bitter regret that they're not happening now.
And understand that the multiple forms of grief you feel are natural and normal ( though unpleasant ) and do resolve in time. And that this isgrief WORK, and takes time, so its often 6 months at least before one starts to notice the lights that have been in the tunnel all along
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