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Question
Posted by: Notty | 2012/09/10

Break up

I terminated the relationship with my b/f of almost 3yrs against his wish. Reason being that he is too pre-occupied with so many activities at work church and home thus I feel neglected. His promise to make time for us seem to be not materialising.

The other challenging issue to me is lack of physical intimacy,,which I found it diffuclt to discuss with him as I was scared that it may affect his self esteem.. He is less of a romantic guy (e.g touching  cuggling , becoming too cold after intercourse, etc).This resulted in me losing emotional connection with him, gave up and decided to break up.

How different could I have dealt with this matter ? How to communicate physical intimacy challenges to a man?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Understandable. It might have been worthwhile to have persuaded him to find the time to join you in a few sessions of couples counselling, but if he was unwilling to take the issues seriously, then change would have been unlikely. Too sensitive a sense of self-esteem can be really hard to live with.
If the guy isn't sensitive enough to pick up what you're trying to tell him, if unwilling to work with a counsellor, then he's not going to change, is he ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/10

Understandable. It might have been worthwhile to have persuaded him to find the time to join you in a few sessions of couples counselling, but if he was unwilling to take the issues seriously, then change would have been unlikely. Too sensitive a sense of self-esteem can be really hard to live with.
If the guy isn't sensitive enough to pick up what you're trying to tell him, if unwilling to work with a counsellor, then he's not going to change, is he ?

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