Posted by: M042 | 2009-10-12


I' ve got a long story. Me and my ex broke up during July, and still I' ve gpt terrible feelings for him. We' ve broke up about a stupid incident, although he doesn' t think it is stupid. He insisted keeping to his view of the matter and he cannot fool himself or anybody to give in to given us a change again.

But he still loves me, he said so himself, he will always love me. He also said a miracle must happen to change his heart. He also said he see my view, but he can not get it over his heart to change his view, due to that he had a very unstable upbringing and his mom did things and it was terrible for him. In other words what I did that day, let him think what his mom did to them.

Well I kept contact with him, but he is ignoring my message totally. But his family says he said he is totally not interested in other women. He still loves me. I must try something from my side to make sure if he is the one for me but what must I do?

I will appreciate if someone can help me? Or must I just leave everything and go on with my life. I am sure you hear this a lot, I still love him

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry, folks, but as I have to rush to Durban for an emergency, this forum was supposed to have been closed from Noon Monday, and has only been left open by mistake. So it will be extremely difficult for me to respond to all questions before Friday.
If you love each other, see a couples counsellor together and see what can be sorted out. OK, so his mom did awful things to him years ago, and you accidentally reminded him of that --- but he must realize it was not you who did awful things to him. And ating like this towards you won't help him at all. He may need to see his own personal counsellor to deal with those things and the effects of them which still continue.
But I tend to agree with the other readers that it soudns as thoug he is being unloving and using this incident as an excuse to break up with you, probably for entirely other reasons, which may have nothing directly to do with you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: M042 | 2009-10-19

I' ve realized the big mistake I' ve made getting involved with this guy in the first place. Well I' ve found out a lot about him the past months after our break-up and I am definitaly better off.

Thanks all

Reply to M042
Posted by: girlie | 2009-10-13

With relationships my dear, i' ve learned that nothing will stop a man from being with you, if he is in to you. my boyfriend said to me the other time if you love a woman, it does not matter what she did or said, you will always find it in your heart to forgive her, but if you dont you will always find every little mistake she does just to be out of her life.
stop these sms' s you will appear to desperate to him and believe me there is nothing annoying like a desperate person. forget about him. yes he loves you but not enough to be with you. with man look at his actions rather than what he says.

Reply to girlie
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2009-10-13

Almost Mad has a point. Its difficult to be objective without knowing the details of what happened. In any event I would say that your B/F is acting like a Prima Donna hiding behind the fact that, I hate to say it, but he does NOT love you my girl. This is his way of telling you. He should just be man enough to come out with the truth and allow you to move on. I would take the hint, its fairly broad I might add, and leave this relationship. If you persist in begging him, not only do you lose your self respect in your eyes, but also in his, if indeed he has any for you at the moment. Its not easy, but you are talking about your future here. Give him the push. Please let us know how you are getting on. Good luck

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-10-12

Its hard to advise if we dont know what happened, and what you did. I think he needs some counceling to get over what his mum did...what did she do anyway? Some more info will help.

Reply to almost mad

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