Posted by: NAN | 2009-02-24

Break up


I have been in a rather violent relationship for quit some time now. I did get to leave him once only for him to sweet talk and amnipulate his way back in again with all sorts of empty promises. I know I was stupid to let him back in again adn I paid the price for that stupidity 3 fold. However I was presented with the opertunity with some clever manovering to get rid of him again, and I told him the other day that I am moving out and that I had enough fo all this lets just say he was not happy with that statement (paid again) he is really peed off about this and has now started to blackmail me and make al sorts of treats. Like he said I need to give him 30 days notice if I want him to move out ( I pay The rent and if I go he has to go ). I didn' t give him that so I have to pay for him for a place now as well. I told him that I can not afford to do that... so he said well then we will just have to move into another place together then. I told him No and now he is threatning with lawyers and all that to freeze my saliry so that he can get it caus I wil pay either way he said. What do I do now I can not loose my job because he is causing al sorts of trouble, just because he can not stand on his own 2 feet. I am really scared of what he is capable of and I am afraid that he will win in the end because I am to scat=red to stand up to him. I so badly want my life back.

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Our expert says:
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If the basic relaionship has been definitely abusive and violent, recognize ALL sweet talk as merely a trap to gety you back within reach, and ignore it. Get a court oder if necessary. Its a legal queion as to whether you jneed to give him 30 days notice as you pay the rent, and I doubt it, but if he is abusive and threatening, a court can order him to get out and not to contact you again in any way. Also, discuss this sort of situation with POWA. If he is living in the flat YOU pay for, there is nothing he can sue you for, let alone freeze your salary --- he is blowing hot air, and any lawyer who helped him would be a co-abuser. GEt advice from POWA and a lawyer

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