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Question
Posted by: 777 | 2011/04/25

BPD

Dear Professor Simpson,

Firstly i would like to thank you for spending time reading and giving advice on all our subjects. You help us allot when we are in need and I’ m sure I can thank you not only from my side but also in behalf of all the people that has posted on your forum.

I''m going to talk in ripples here so please bear with me.

Professor, I met a very pretty girl who fell in love with me as I have with her. Everything was going just peachy but I noticed that she would be hot and cold quite allot. Recently she has become really aggressive. She has borderline personality disorder.

The problem that I have is that I cant find anything that explains to me how I should react towards it. Look I’ m willing to live with it and I really don’ t want to loose her.

I would like to know what should I do, should I leave her till she comes back to me or should I keep on telling her I’ m here for her?

I know what it is, how it works but i have no idea how to react when she becomes so mean... I''m a good guy, dont get aggresive and she receintly said that i''m a pushover and weak... How do i go about it because it seems she just does not want to listen and understand.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmmm. Borderline Personality Disorder can be really difficult for even psychotherapists to deal with, and they handle attachment to others in a stormy and self-defeating manner. I really doubt that there is any plain guide to how to handle such a person. When they storm off it's best to leave them, and see if they return. Trying too hard ( on your part ) doesn't help them much, though it can be very tempting. Telling her you'll be there means very little to her. Being there might get the message across, but she may test you so many times you may very justifiably eventually decide not to remain there for her. She may mock you for being pleasant and unaggressive, but wouldn't be satisfied if you were less pleasant or more aggressive. If you want a calm, loving relationship, you won't have one with a borderline

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: 777 | 2011/04/26

I''m willing to work because i really have big feelings for this girl.

Reply to 777
Posted by: Truth | 2011/04/25

Read the Professors last sentence VERY carefully!

Reply to Truth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/25

Hmmm. Borderline Personality Disorder can be really difficult for even psychotherapists to deal with, and they handle attachment to others in a stormy and self-defeating manner. I really doubt that there is any plain guide to how to handle such a person. When they storm off it's best to leave them, and see if they return. Trying too hard ( on your part ) doesn't help them much, though it can be very tempting. Telling her you'll be there means very little to her. Being there might get the message across, but she may test you so many times you may very justifiably eventually decide not to remain there for her. She may mock you for being pleasant and unaggressive, but wouldn't be satisfied if you were less pleasant or more aggressive. If you want a calm, loving relationship, you won't have one with a borderline

Reply to cybershrink

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