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Question
Posted by: Sad | 2012/01/12

boyfriend leaving because of religion

Hi Doc
I was involved with a guy, but he later said there can be nothing more due to our difference in religion. We know each other for 2 years now and have become very close. We slept together before he started with the religion story. I really loved him, and cannot imagine my life without him. He has now told me he must also let go, we can never be together even though we cant leave each other alone.
I am heartbroken, I cant imagine him with someone else or not in my life, and this due to his religion.
Do I bite my sadness and pretend to be " just a friend"  or do I let him go and break all ties?
I really love him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Liza may well be right - maybe he doesn't love you much, and at least nowhere near as much as you feel sure you love him. If he did, the religious differences, whatever they are, would not be breaking you up - and somehow they weren't significant enough to stop him from sleeping with you, earlier on. Rather recognize that in life you may kiss a number of frogs, and only some of them turn into princes. Rather end the relationship cleanly and without bitterness, and move on. Don't indulge yourself in elaborate regrets for having lost something it appears you actually never had. You deserve something better

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2012/01/16

I broke up with someone because of religion.
Tthough I loved him sooo very mucht at the time I was clouded by the guilt of not following what the Bible says.
I tried to convince my ex to come join my religion but knowing religion it is one of the hardest thing to just change.
Even now I know I will never just wake up and choose to be a Muslim or other so I can hold on to my loved one.

I no longer see my ex at all and I hate that I had to have that choice to make, however I am happy now with my current partner. We pray a lot together, talk about the Bible and enjoy going to church together, which I don''t think I would have done with my ex.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sideways | 2012/01/12

As painful as it maybe and as much as you may wish to hold on, it is time to make a clean break. You will find someone more suited to you. He seems quite willing and able to move on which would suggested he has less vested in this than you. It may seem impossible now, but in time you will have a different persepective. Make a clean break and surround yourself with loved ones.

Reply to sideways
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/12

l see no value in keeping exes as friend it just makes things uncomfortable for your next partner, if their are children involved it is different.

Lisa is right if he truley loved you you could have worked through the religion problem - as many people do.......

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Liza | 2012/01/12

You love a guy who doesn''t love you back. The religion story is just an excuse. He wants to move on.

Staying ''just friends'' doesn''t work. It''s just going to make the breakup last a lot longer and cause a lot of heartache because you will keep on hoping that he''ll change his mind. It''s like flogging a dead horse and expecting it to run.

Make a clean break and find a guy who deserves your love and loves you back.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/12

Liza may well be right - maybe he doesn't love you much, and at least nowhere near as much as you feel sure you love him. If he did, the religious differences, whatever they are, would not be breaking you up - and somehow they weren't significant enough to stop him from sleeping with you, earlier on. Rather recognize that in life you may kiss a number of frogs, and only some of them turn into princes. Rather end the relationship cleanly and without bitterness, and move on. Don't indulge yourself in elaborate regrets for having lost something it appears you actually never had. You deserve something better

Reply to cybershrink

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