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Question
Posted by: Aya | 2010/09/18

Boyfriend issues

Dear CS

Im trying to figure out if im going crazy here? Heres what happened,my boyfriend of 4 years was sick so he asked me to go and fetch his son(12) at a school function in the evening around seven,so on my way there just as i arrived at the school i got a puncture i was traveling with a cousin of his who is 17 years old ,so i told her to get out of the car to go and find the boy(12) while i tried to sort the tyre out,i decided to go to a nearby garage and where they were helping me too change the tyre,realised that it was going to take long, i didnt have my phone on me so i went to a nearby pay fone and called my boyfriend to let him know that i had a puncture and i was going to take a while,i could hear from his tone that he was angry,anyway decided to also call the son and also let him know that i will be late and gave him instructions that they should just walk to the garage wher i was,,well to cut a long story short he went to the wrong garage and in the process had to call his dad coz they were lost,my tyre ordeal was done and i decised to drive back to the school ,found them waiting there alone in the dark,got home and my boyfriend was so angry and did not even want to talk,slapped me and went straight to bed locked the bedroom door and i had to sleep in the couch,and wake up the next day exhausted and had to go to work,since then he hasnt been cooperative,doesnt want to do anything with me and is different in the way he treats me,i think im getting depressed and now hav diarea and im not sleeping well,im always tired,im wondering what have i done wrong,how do i fix this?does he want us to breakup?we havnt spoken about this,how do i aproach him,please help,im dying inside.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your bf of course had no reason to abusively slap you - you were trying to do him a favour, and did not choose to have a puncture. I'm a bit surprised that the garage would take so long to change a tire, but in an urgent situation, you don't know how competent they will be.
That he is still apparently acting immaturely and unkindly and making you feel bad, is childish and inappropriate for a grown man and parent. This does not sound like a healthy relationship - and if he wont even discuss such a situation with you, things can't be fixed. Its more than the tire than has a puncture

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: Dun | 2010/09/20

Maybe Aya is not telling the full story, have you ever cheated on this guy before? i mean his behaviour is abnormal.

Reply to Dun
Posted by: Anon | 2010/09/20

I think something else is eating him up. Seems like he was waiting for you to do something wrong so that he can brake up with you. My x boyfriend did the same thing, he became angry over some small issue and dumped me, only to find that he was already seeing someone else and the other lady was pushing him to break up with me so that she can be a " fulltime galfrend" .

My advice is to just leave him. You''l save yourself from a lot of heart ache and pain. It is quite clear that the UNGREATFULL BASTARD does not deserve you.

All the best!!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: anna | 2010/09/20

hey girl just leave him at least for some time so that he will understand he needs u.believe me if u beg him u will lose him.guys like women with good self esteem.women who know who they r.be sure u havent done anything bad.so let him be sorry for what he did to u.be confident.its he who must beg u to forgive.but if u go on like this ( so mild nad begging, and bear everything he does) u will sure lose him.let him understand he needs u.

Reply to anna
Posted by: Unbelievable | 2010/09/20

What! unbelievable!!! So this guy slapped u and let u sleep on the couch for what!!! And u still want to beg him? Iyo woman, u real need help to get ur self esteem back cos u sure lack it.

Reply to Unbelievable
Posted by: Popi | 2010/09/20

Dont u have your own place, go back to your own place and leave him alone.

Reply to Popi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/18

Your bf of course had no reason to abusively slap you - you were trying to do him a favour, and did not choose to have a puncture. I'm a bit surprised that the garage would take so long to change a tire, but in an urgent situation, you don't know how competent they will be.
That he is still apparently acting immaturely and unkindly and making you feel bad, is childish and inappropriate for a grown man and parent. This does not sound like a healthy relationship - and if he wont even discuss such a situation with you, things can't be fixed. Its more than the tire than has a puncture

Reply to cybershrink

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