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Question
Posted by: Maya | 2012/08/26

Boyfriend doesn''t like sex?

Hi, I am a 35 year old woman dating a guy for the past 2 years who is 3 years younger than me. I am extremely frustrated becaus it feels like he doesn''t like sex,or love making. Only quickies. Our acts average about 3 minutes every time. No foreplay, ever. It feels like he doesn''t care about my needs and about pleasuring me. I tried talking to him several times already, but nothing changes. I really don''t know what to do anymore? I take very good care of myself and I am fairly attractive. Every time I talk about this, he gets angry at me. Would sex therapy help? Can you recommend someone in the Gauteng area?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The reasons for his defensiveness need to be understood - I wonder whether he struggles to delay his ejaculation or whether he has other performance anxiety. Given his defensive approach, do you think you will get him to sex therapy? We do have people we can recommend in the Gauteng area - please email the SASHA helpline (helpline.sasha@gmail.com) and we'll send contact details that way.

Claire - SASHA

Claire

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Gogo | 2012/08/27

He is playing games, a toyboy who does n''t want to deliver must just leave the house. Move on my darling

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: Maya | 2012/08/26

Thank you Claire. I am not sure if I will be able to convince him to go, but I''ll try hard. It will be my last resort because I really feel like an object and I am not prepared to go on like this. I really tried everything else - there is nothing wrong with my sex drive and I already stopped initiating sex because I only end up feeling used, frustrated and sad afterwards. There is nothing wrong with his sex drive either, the difference is it is only for his pleasure.
Hold thumbs...!

Reply to Maya
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/08/26

The reasons for his defensiveness need to be understood - I wonder whether he struggles to delay his ejaculation or whether he has other performance anxiety. Given his defensive approach, do you think you will get him to sex therapy? We do have people we can recommend in the Gauteng area - please email the SASHA helpline (helpline.sasha@gmail.com) and we'll send contact details that way.

Claire - SASHA

Claire

Reply to Sexologist

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