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Question
Posted by: kelly | 2011/10/17

boyfriend date me and ex at same time

i cant understand this, i recently found out that my boyfriend is dating me and his ex-girlfriend on the same time. this does not make sense to me. as i told him so many times to tell me the truth and then i will let go of him. i ask him every day to be honest with me as he did not come as he use to in the beginning.,then he keep on telling me he life is so mess up at the moment that he himself dont know what is going on in his life. i cant understand why could he not just told me he is with her. i recently red on facebook on the love comments he gave her on facebook and about the times they were together. i told him last week not to contact me again. he did not respond on my sms. i accept the fact that he want to be with her but dont understand why he was not open with me.he always use to say he treat our relationship with dignity and respect.i try to reason what he want out of life but realy dont understand him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It makes excellent sense if he is emotionally dishonest and uncaring and selfish, and wants to keep you both as spares or alternates. There's no excuse to say his life is messed up at present - who except him messed it up ? And to lie to you, but brag about his love for her on Facebook, suggests he is unfaihful and rather stupid, too.
Leave him to sort out his apparently messed up life, and to sort things out with his ex, who may get little joy out of him.
Move on, don't communicate further with him nor pay attention or respond if he contacts you. YOu're lucky to have found out about this before becoming more involved. There are surely better people for you to form friendships with.
Nonni is right. I have a saying : "Man who likes to butter his bread on both sides, usually drops the slice".

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Our users say:
Posted by: Think b4 you post........... | 2011/10/17

QUOTE l told him last week not to contact me again, he did not respond to my sms

Well if you ask him not to contact you he would hardly respond - would he?

Reply to Think b4 you post...........
Posted by: Adam | 2011/10/17

Can i date you

Reply to Adam
Posted by: Adam | 2011/10/17

maybe you were naked and he wanted your punai

Reply to Adam
Posted by: Nonni | 2011/10/17

He was keeping his options open dear, in case it did not work out with the ex (she is ex for a reason I assume). His bread was buttered on both sides. He could not tell you the truth because you would have dumped him like a hot cake and then he would have had nothing to fall back on if he needed to.

Good on you for dumping the arrogant idiot''s @ss. You did the right thing as he was only using you in anycase. His life is not messed up at all, he knows exactly what he is doing and why and I think you were a victim of very cunning manipulation on his part. I am so sorry about that, but you did the right thing.

Good luck and stick with your decision, you deserve better.

Reply to Nonni
Posted by: Andrea | 2011/10/17

Sorry Kelly, he just used you. Dont undersatdn how some men can be so nasty.

Reply to Andrea
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/17

It makes excellent sense if he is emotionally dishonest and uncaring and selfish, and wants to keep you both as spares or alternates. There's no excuse to say his life is messed up at present - who except him messed it up ? And to lie to you, but brag about his love for her on Facebook, suggests he is unfaihful and rather stupid, too.
Leave him to sort out his apparently messed up life, and to sort things out with his ex, who may get little joy out of him.
Move on, don't communicate further with him nor pay attention or respond if he contacts you. YOu're lucky to have found out about this before becoming more involved. There are surely better people for you to form friendships with.
Nonni is right. I have a saying : "Man who likes to butter his bread on both sides, usually drops the slice".

Reply to cybershrink

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