Our expert says:
This sounds like a very complex problem for both of you, not just your boyfriend. It is very common that a discrepancy in sexual desire exists between two partners; the challenge is how this is managed and negotiated between the two of you! The more conflict, outside stress, and absence of a loving/caring attitude towards you there is, the less likely it is that you will be willing to drive your own response; and the more you tell him he has a problem and are not willing to be part of the solution, the more angry he will become! What is going on between the two of you sounds like an abusive spiral that needs to stop somehow and sooner rather than later if not for your sake, then for your son. I would recommend that you access relationship support from an organisation such as FAMSA or even seek relationship/sexual counselling in the private sector - call the SASHA helpline for a professional around the West Rand (0860 100 262 - if you go through to netcare 911 just ask for the SASHA line)
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