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Question
Posted by: sam | 2008-12-08

boyfriend cheating - wants too much sex

I need help for my boyfriend. he doesnt think he has a problem. He is so tied up with wanting sex that he blames me for his cheating. He now even goes to whore houses and pays R600.00 a time and tells me that i dont want to sleep with him cause i hate him and he doesnt have a choice. He has been unfaithful and abusive aswell and i feel that i cannot willingly give him what he wants as often as he wants due to his unfaithfulness and the way he treats me. He really needs help. Please help me as we have been in a relationship for 12 years on and off and living together for 2, we have a 7year old son and we cannot exersize sex like we use to as well as i have responsibilities at home as well as work and am extremely tired and not interested.

Help me please. Johannesburg - west rand

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This sounds like a very complex problem for both of you, not just your boyfriend. It is very common that a discrepancy in sexual desire exists between two partners; the challenge is how this is managed and negotiated between the two of you! The more conflict, outside stress, and absence of a loving/caring attitude towards you there is, the less likely it is that you will be willing to drive your own response; and the more you tell him he has a problem and are not willing to be part of the solution, the more angry he will become! What is going on between the two of you sounds like an abusive spiral that needs to stop somehow and sooner rather than later if not for your sake, then for your son. I would recommend that you access relationship support from an organisation such as FAMSA or even seek relationship/sexual counselling in the private sector - call the SASHA helpline for a professional around the West Rand (0860 100 262 - if you go through to netcare 911 just ask for the SASHA line)

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Ja | 2008-12-11

I dont agree with what he' s been doing.
What have you NOT been doing? Hell! if i had to pay R600 3 times a day i would be bankrupt!

Reply to Ja
Posted by: Sg | 2008-12-08

How can still want a man that is paying for sex with all the diseases he could be passing onto you? Please think very hard about staying with this loser.

Reply to Sg
Posted by: Lady man | 2008-12-08

Leave him. He only thinks about himself and his needs.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: JOY | 2008-12-08

Are you Happy with him? NO
is he a good father in terms of image that he gives? NO
Does he respect you and you life ? NO
can he give you AIDS? YES
Do you luv him ? NO
Do you depend on him emotionally? YES
Does he control your life in all aspects ina negative way ? YES

SO WHY ARE STILL WITH HIM EVEN AFTER HE HAS PROVEN TO BE A GOOD OLD BASTARD?

DO YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM ? nono no

MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE SISTER BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME YOU WRITE YOU WILL CRYING CAUSE YOU WILL HAVE hiv BY THEM

Reply to JOY
Posted by: paul | 2008-12-08

Leave the bastard

Reply to paul

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